* Why is Wi-Fi free at cheap hotels, but $14 a night at expensive ones?
Because you can afford it.
* What happens to software programs when their publishers go out of business?
They persevere on individual computers, in denial of extinction. Sometimes they're just so right you cannot improve upon them.
* Would the record companies sell more music online if it weren't copy-protected?
Of course. I'd start buying and downloading if they stopped treating me like a criminal.
* Do cellphones cause brain cancer?
No I don't know, but they do cause traffic accidents.
* What's the real reason you have to turn off your laptop for takeoff?
To annoy you.
* Why can't a digital S.L.R. camera record video?
Mine can. Yours can't?
* Wi-Fi on airplanes. What's taking so long?
You assume that it is actually going to happen.
* Who are the morons who respond to junk-mail offers, thereby keeping spammers in business?
Your grandparents.
* I'm told that they could make a shirt-pocket digital camera that takes pictures like an S.L.R., but it would cost a lot. So why don't they make one for people who can afford it?
They do. But you have to work for the government to see it.
* How come there are still no viruses for Mac OS X? If it has 6 percent of the market, shouldn't it have 6 percent of the viruses?
As Apple closes up open standards, watch and see.
* Do shareware programmers pay taxes on all those $20 contributions?
Some do, probably.
* How are we going to preserve all of our digital photos and videos for future generations?
I don't know, but it won't be by using Flickr.
* Why are there no federal rebates or tax credits for solar power?
Because President Ronald Reagan killed them.
* Why do you have to take tape camcorders out of your carry-on at airport security, but not the tapeless kind? Couldn't you hide a bomb equally well in either one? (Actually, I have about 500 more logic questions about the rules at airport security, but I have a feeling they'll remain answerless for a very long time.)
Probably something to do with the x-ray image they have.
* Laptops, cameras and cellphones have improved by a thousand percent in the last ten years. Why not their batteries?
Maybe the laptops, cameras and cellphones have improved in the wrong ways. Remember, transistors were considered worthless because they couldn't handle the power for home "hi-fi" consoles. Then along came Sony to make small transistor radios. The transistors were the same, the radios changed.
* SmartDisplay, Spot Watch, U.M.P.C., Zune… when will Microsoft realize that it's not a hardware company?
Sometime after Apple does.
* Why don't public sinks have foot pedals?
It costs more.
* Why don't all hotels have check-in kiosks like airlines do?
You want to make hotels more like airlines? What? Are you f---ing crazy?!!!!
* Five billion dollars a year spent on ringtones? What the?
The summoning to sacrifice is sacred.
* How come cellphone signal-strength bars are so often wrong?
They're on cell phones.
* Do P.R. people really expect anyone to believe that the standard, stilted, second-paragraph C.E.O. quote was really uttered by a human being?
Of course. It was. By the PR people.
* Why aren't there recycling bins for bottles and cans where they're most obviously needed, like food courts and cafeterias?
Because that would cost more.
* Why doesn't someone start a cellphone company that bills you only for what you use? That model works O.K. for the electricity, gas and water companies —and people would beat a path to its door.
Because they don't have to ... yet.
* Why doesn't everyone have lights that turn off automatically when the room is empty?
Creepy!!!
* What's the deal with Palm?
Well, someone has to come in at the bottom.
* Why are so many people rude on the Internet?
...because they are rude people?
]]>* Why is Wi-Fi free at cheap hotels, but $14 a night at expensive ones?
Because you can afford it.
* What happens to software programs when their publishers go out of business?
They persevere on individual computers, in denial of extinction. Sometimes they're just so right you cannot improve upon them.
* Would the record companies sell more music online if it weren't copy-protected?
Of course. I'd start buying and downloading if they stopped treating me like a criminal.
* Do cellphones cause brain cancer?
No I don't know, but they do cause traffic accidents.
* What's the real reason you have to turn off your laptop for takeoff?
To annoy you.
* Why can't a digital S.L.R. camera record video?
Mine can. Yours can't?
* Wi-Fi on airplanes. What's taking so long?
You assume that it is actually going to happen.
* Who are the morons who respond to junk-mail offers, thereby keeping spammers in business?
Your grandparents.
* I'm told that they could make a shirt-pocket digital camera that takes pictures like an S.L.R., but it would cost a lot. So why don't they make one for people who can afford it?
They do. But you have to work for the government to see it.
* How come there are still no viruses for Mac OS X? If it has 6 percent of the market, shouldn't it have 6 percent of the viruses?
As Apple closes up open standards, watch and see.
* Do shareware programmers pay taxes on all those $20 contributions?
Some do, probably.
* How are we going to preserve all of our digital photos and videos for future generations?
I don't know, but it won't be by using Flickr.
* Why are there no federal rebates or tax credits for solar power?
Because President Ronald Reagan killed them.
* Why do you have to take tape camcorders out of your carry-on at airport security, but not the tapeless kind? Couldn't you hide a bomb equally well in either one? (Actually, I have about 500 more logic questions about the rules at airport security, but I have a feeling they'll remain answerless for a very long time.)
Probably something to do with the x-ray image they have.
* Laptops, cameras and cellphones have improved by a thousand percent in the last ten years. Why not their batteries?
Maybe the laptops, cameras and cellphones have improved in the wrong ways. Remember, transistors were considered worthless because they couldn't handle the power for home "hi-fi" consoles. Then along came Sony to make small transistor radios. The transistors were the same, the radios changed.
* SmartDisplay, Spot Watch, U.M.P.C., Zune… when will Microsoft realize that it's not a hardware company?
Sometime after Apple does.
* Why don't public sinks have foot pedals?
It costs more.
* Why don't all hotels have check-in kiosks like airlines do?
You want to make hotels more like airlines? What? Are you f---ing crazy?!!!!
* Five billion dollars a year spent on ringtones? What the?
The summoning to sacrifice is sacred.
* How come cellphone signal-strength bars are so often wrong?
They're on cell phones.
* Do P.R. people really expect anyone to believe that the standard, stilted, second-paragraph C.E.O. quote was really uttered by a human being?
Of course. It was. By the PR people.
* Why aren't there recycling bins for bottles and cans where they're most obviously needed, like food courts and cafeterias?
Because that would cost more.
* Why doesn't someone start a cellphone company that bills you only for what you use? That model works O.K. for the electricity, gas and water companies —and people would beat a path to its door.
Because they don't have to ... yet.
* Why doesn't everyone have lights that turn off automatically when the room is empty?
Creepy!!!
* What's the deal with Palm?
Well, someone has to come in at the bottom.
* Why are so many people rude on the Internet?
...because they are rude people?
]]>